Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
