Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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