that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
