Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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