Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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