All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
