I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
