Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
