No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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