either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
