You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
