yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
