Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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