i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
