their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
