I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
