margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
