you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
