Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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