When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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