is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
