If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
