This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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