Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
