Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
