I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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