She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Drunk is not a location!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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