We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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