just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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