shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
