i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
