What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
