I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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