sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
