How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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