I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
