I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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