remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
