Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
