I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
