Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
