ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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