im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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