Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
