i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
