I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
