you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
