i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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