at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
