I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
