I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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