I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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