just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I fill condoms, not promises.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
