This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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