I didn't shave. On purpose
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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