Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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