he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
