I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
