I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
