Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
