You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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