accomplished twins. life is a go
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
