your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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