8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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