I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
