I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
