I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Randomize
