Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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