dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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