How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
