Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
porn star boner night. come get it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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