STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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